my favorite thing is how they don’t censor boobs in orange is the new black. u see a boob? it’s just a boob. boobs everywhere boobs for everybody
her: come over
me: i can't my dog just fell asleep on my lap
her: my parents aren't home
me: he is ASLEEP
do you ever get the urge to clean your entire room and then 5 minutes after u start you’re like nah son and u just lay on the floor
One hand on the wheel, one hand in your pants. I like multitasking.